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MB3 - R3 - Gargantula vs Velasquez vs Unicorpse

Posted: Mon Oct 26, 2009 8:26 pm
by normsherman
Image

Hark, the second 'normal' round begins. 3 beasts new beasts, 1 new winner, 1 more podcast in poor taste. The top vote-getter on mega-beasts.com after Sunday November 8th (Midnight, Pacific) will become a semi-finalist 'meta-beast,' mutating to gain the powers of his felled rivals (yup, just like last year, and last round).

Let the music of this dark symphony be played.

Re: MB3 - R3 - Gargantula vs Velasquez vs Unicorpse

Posted: Mon Oct 26, 2009 8:40 pm
by ROU Killing Time
Prediction: Unicorpse is gonna run away with this round, the result being 1 Penguin-kebob, and an extra hole, right between Garganula's Umber-Hulk pincers...

The advantage is obvious... Regardless of your weaponry, it's hard to kill something that's already dead...

Re: MB3 - R3 - Gargantula vs Velasquez vs Unicorpse

Posted: Mon Oct 26, 2009 9:17 pm
by zZzacha
I like Unicorpse. He has such a crrrazy smile and his tongue is about as long as mine.

Ooh, and is that his tough weapon of doom I see between his legs? What can it do?!?!
Yeah, I understand Unicorpse doesn't really have range, if he has his weapon there...

I dislike Velasquez because... Uhm... Don't know, don't like the guy.

Re: MB3 - R3 - Gargantula vs Velasquez vs Unicorpse

Posted: Mon Oct 26, 2009 10:19 pm
by StalinSays
Is my support a jynx? If so should I mention I'm a Unicorpse booster? No dislike for any candidate this round is inside me, so I'll be playing spoiler. Predicted by Skirmish result ranking the tally will be Velasquez (1), Unicorpse (2), Gargantuala (3), so I'll be voting in the opposite order. Round 2 was stayed in line with Skirmish placement forecasting, so those of us who root for cursed or axe brandishing underdogs need to act early.
zZzacha wrote:I dislike Velasquez because... Uhm... Don't know, don't like the guy.
Blatant sizism. And from a bunny so small? Who would have thunk it?

Re: MB3 - R3 - Gargantula vs Velasquez vs Unicorpse

Posted: Mon Oct 26, 2009 11:02 pm
by Phenopath
I am struggling to see Unicorpse motivation, or indeed his MO. Does he canter around the battlefield attempting to skewer his opponents? Would an undead horse pick-up its heals?

Does Velasquez have the smarts to figure out how to take down My Little Corpsie? I think that Gargantuala might be underrated (by me), he could do some real damage in a rage attack.

Re: MB3 - R3 - Gargantula vs Velasquez vs Unicorpse

Posted: Mon Oct 26, 2009 11:41 pm
by loser018
What are you talking about Velasquez is gouing to win this round because 1) He has the fire power to blow up probably a small town 2( He has the smarts to take out Unicorpse's horn and hack off Gargantula's arms off and
3) He's a frackin panguin with gun's. He's like the Bullseye or Agent Zero( Comic not movie) of the death match. It's pretty hard to kill that.

Oh and who won last weeks deathmatch. I think I missed it.

Re: MB3 - R3 - Gargantula vs Velasquez vs Unicorpse

Posted: Tue Oct 27, 2009 12:31 am
by StalinSays
loser018 wrote:Oh and who won last weeks deathmatch. I think I missed it.
Lionic took that. He will be back in about a month with more powers and a new name (still looking for that next Lion pun).

Stats, for quick reference:

Velasquez
Intelligence: 10
Strength: 2
Endurance: 5
Agility: 3
Brutality: 4
Range: 1 *unarmed
Intangibles: 3

Unicorpse
Intelligence: 4
Strength: 3
Endurance: 10
Agility: 4
Brutality: 3
Range: 1
Intangibles: 6

Gargantula
Intelligence: 2
Strength: 5
Endurance: 6
Agility: 5
Brutality: 5
Range: 6
Intangibles: 1

So a couple stat max'ers (not a lot in the competition), and a strong middle ground'er. Strengths for Velasquez would clearly be his intelligence, mixed with resourcefulness, a tight arsenal, and being in general a tough bastard. Unicorpse can play possum like no other, and yeh, he's got a healing factor the envy of any X Man. Main offense is horn impaling and kicking. Gargantula straddles the middle line, not lacking anywhere but intangibles, AKA with him what you see is what you get. He likes setting traps and keeping distance. But unlike most of that type he is no slouch as far as melee goes.
Phenopath wrote:I am struggling to see Unicorpse motivation, or indeed his MO. Does he canter around the battlefield attempting to skewer his opponents? Would an undead horse pick-up its heals?
Nossir, he bucks like a mother. You'd think Unicorpse draws the short end of the stick here, being the only beast out trying to close gaps, but remember he could run straight through a hail of bullets and smash carcass first in to his target. Also he has a hint of that equine intelligence. Not enough to read your thoughts and grant wishes like some of his trapper-keeper airbrushed brethren, but enough to realize what he has going for himself.
zZzacha wrote:Ooh, and is that his tough weapon of doom I see between his legs?
Just a hanging coil of intestine. We save the filthy stuff for the podcast. I promise.

Re: MB3 - R3 - Gargantula vs Velasquez vs Unicorpse

Posted: Tue Oct 27, 2009 2:21 am
by tbaker2500
zZzacha wrote:I dislike Velasquez because... Uhm... Don't know, don't like the guy.
Have you not listened to B&W animals? #3 where he dies... It was so heart wrenching! How could you not like the guy?

And yes, I'm gather that Unicropse is a male?

Re: MB3 - R3 - Gargantula vs Velasquez vs Unicorpse

Posted: Tue Oct 27, 2009 2:29 am
by tbaker2500
Hmm... I'm a Velasquez supporter, but he could be in trouble. One on one, he could take out either of his opponents. I see him mowing down Unicorpse while being charged, then while Unicorpse is regenerating Velasquez cuts off his horn with his big ass knife. But if Velasquez is focusing his long-range attacks on one, the other guy could close ranks are tear him apart. So... Velasquez must rely on his intelligence and make sure to not fall into the middle.

Re: MB3 - R3 - Gargantula vs Velasquez vs Unicorpse

Posted: Tue Oct 27, 2009 3:03 am
by onehoopyfrood
I'm torn between Unicorpse and Velasquez. I don't see Gargantula being able to take either one of them: Velasquez keeps his distance and pumps the spider full of holes, and Unicorpse can play the waiting game; what's he going to do, die of old age? So Unicorpse runs up to Gargantula, and gets in a single stab of the horn, and is then chopped into little bits. Big whoop. Two minutes later, Gargantula has another hole, and Unicorpse can keep re-forming as long as it takes.
The thing that's really going to be the deciding factor in this match is going to be the hardness of Unicorpse's horn. Being part of a mystical creature, I don't think we can assume that it'll be equal to, say, a bull's horn.
In terms of destroying it, I don't think Gargantula will be able to do much of anything, given what he's working with. Velasquez can't just cut the horn off, and be done with it... As long as that horn EXISTS, Unicorpse will keep re-forming.
This leads to two questions:
1. How hard is the horn? Will one well-placed bullet or grenade shatter it?
2. If the horn IS cut off, or Unicorpse is decapitated, will it's body re-form around the horn, leaving the original corpse behind on the terrain? If that's the case, and if this fight lasts long enough, Velasquez could probably cook up some kind of interesting strategy involving heaps of dead unicorns.

Re: MB3 - R3 - Gargantula vs Velasquez vs Unicorpse

Posted: Tue Oct 27, 2009 3:20 am
by gord42
zZzacha wrote:...I dislike Velasquez because... Uhm... Don't know, don't like the guy.
You don't like Valasquez because he scares you. Admit it. Sure, you'd be brave enough facing down a blade-slinging super spider, or an undead pony, but when it comes it the black and white assassin of land and sea...you're peeing yourself just a little. The beady little black eyes that glint with uncannily intelligence will haunt you in your dreams. Is he coming at you with that gun or that one? Maybe you should watch his knife fin. Maybe you didn't see those grenades.

Don't underestimate the flightless killer in a tuxedo. Now go vote for Velasquez before he does something inhuman to your Mom.

Re: MB3 - R3 - Gargantula vs Velasquez vs Unicorpse

Posted: Tue Oct 27, 2009 2:07 pm
by tastycakes
Where the hell is the support for Gargantula. He's a one ton tarantula for christ's sake. with weapons!

ARGH.

Re: MB3 - R3 - Gargantula vs Velasquez vs Unicorpse

Posted: Tue Oct 27, 2009 4:18 pm
by normsherman
One and a half tons actually. And with the multiple eyes he can track both the others at the same time. Seriously, Gargantula is a power house against those other two.

Can easily lop off the zombie unicorn's horn. Would take some serious damage from Velasquez but his mobility is so much better-- with a pounce and one swipe that penguin would be diced.

Gargantula has killer melee potential AND ranged weapons-- could throw sticky webbing all over the other two and just get a-hacking. Vote for the big-ass Spidaah!

Re: MB3 - R3 - Gargantula vs Velasquez vs Unicorpse

Posted: Tue Oct 27, 2009 4:21 pm
by zZzacha
gord42 wrote:You don't like Valasquez because he scares you. Admit it. Sure, you'd be brave enough facing down a blade-slinging super spider, or an undead pony, but when it comes it the black and white assassin of land and sea...you're peeing yourself just a little.
True! But I don't need no penguin to pee myself. Ha! Got you there :)

Er... Well, I just love the undead, being this sweet little zombie bunny from Hell (the stomping ground of our dear Beelzebounce, coincidence?!)

As for Gargantula, I would certainly scream hard and run like a girl if I were to meet him because spiders are the most creepy things alive. But he does get all my middle votes, because I just don't like that other guy.

Velasquez, tiny bird, thinks he's brave but I know better. I've seen March of the Penguins and those penguins weren't really marching for anything, it's all just pretend. I bet if anyone just steals his (tiny!) smokes, he will probably cry like a female penguin.

Re: MB3 - R3 - Gargantula vs Velasquez vs Unicorpse

Posted: Tue Oct 27, 2009 6:31 pm
by strawman
How can we possibly not vote for the guy who, in the meta round, could be named Painguin?

Re: MB3 - R3 - Gargantula vs Velasquez vs Unicorpse

Posted: Tue Oct 27, 2009 6:51 pm
by StalinSays
onehoopyfrood wrote:1. How hard is the horn? Will one well-placed bullet or grenade shatter it?
2. If the horn IS cut off, or Unicorpse is decapitated, will it's body re-form around the horn, leaving the original corpse behind on the terrain? If that's the case, and if this fight lasts long enough, Velasquez could probably cook up some kind of interesting strategy involving heaps of dead unicorns.
Since it isn't explicit on the card, consider this 'interpretation' and not the strictest reality. Norm/Luke/Kendall's word on the subject would weigh as much as mine. Or anyone else who has a rationale and illuminating take.

In reverse order:

2) The horn has to be broken or destroyed. So if Velasquez played marksmen and hit Unicorpse with a sniper's shot from the trees, blowing his head off, if the top fragment of his skull flies off with that horn still attached, a new Unicorpse would form from that segment on down. The leftovers of that first Unicorpse would still be around, though limp and 'dead.' Also it'd smell terrible.

Unicorpse is corrupted magic, not a zombie, not a vampire (more a lich than anything else). Blow up his head, cut off his head, stake his heart, shoot him with silver bullets, he'll be back. Just like the cat, the very next day.

1) It's a tough horn, but it could be shattered. Tougher than a bull's horn, but not diamond tough.
normsherman wrote:(Gargantula) can easily lop off the zombie unicorn's horn.
A key factor in all of this: neither Velasquez nor Gargantula immediately recognize the horn as the center of Unicorpse's strength. He is a baffling enemy. So no 'Velasquez unsheathes his bowie knife and Danny Trejo's it through Unicorpse's horn' at the very start of the round, no 'Fire Down Below Howie Long leaping ax thrust' from Gargantula.

Gargantula faces an uphill battle against Unicorpse, but he isn't impotent - he has stomach acids and dissolving enzymes like any other spider.
strawman wrote:How can we possibly not vote for the guy who, in the meta round, could be named Painguin?
I can't argue that. The current voting results don't seem to either.
zZzacha wrote:I've seen March of the Penguins and those penguins weren't really marching for anything, it's all just pretend. I bet if anyone just steals his (tiny!) smokes, he will probably cry like a female penguin.
That was actually a long string of Velasquez's prisoners marching at gun point. They're not migrating, they're being corralled for bounty collection. You are right though, he'd be super grumpy without his smokes.

Re: MB3 - R3 - Gargantula vs Velasquez vs Unicorpse

Posted: Wed Oct 28, 2009 10:01 pm
by gord42
How to vote how to vote how to vote how to vote?

The zombie unicorn is just a touch too boring to go to the next round. Seriously? Stab, die, regenerate, stab, die, regenerate, repeat ad nausea. Sure it works, but where's the sense of windblown adventure?

If I'm voting for what I think has the best chance of winning in a fair fight, I would go with the 1.5 tonne armed tarantula. I mean, it's just common sense, right?

I think, ultimately, when I'm really honest with myself I have to admit...ever since Opus beat that street mime unconscious with a pimento loaf, I've always had a fondness for violent penguins.


Go, Velasquez, go!

Re: MB3 - R3 - Gargantula vs Velasquez vs Unicorpse

Posted: Wed Oct 28, 2009 11:41 pm
by Phenopath
I know how you feel Gord42, this round has me conflicted.

My preference for Unicorpse on earlier rounds has gone. I think that he lacks fire-power, and, although he is hard to put down, I think that he lacks the 'grit' of a true attritional competitor. If unicorpse is going to take hits, surely his horn will get taken out sooner rather than later.

So it comes down to Velasquez and Gargantula. Velasquez may not be the toughest, but I believe that his resourceful guerilla style will be able to best Gargantula.

Re: MB3 - R3 - Gargantula vs Velasquez vs Unicorpse

Posted: Thu Oct 29, 2009 12:08 am
by ROU Killing Time
You had me at Painguin. Switched my vote, pushing the pengy into the lead.

btw, whatever happened to the # of post rankings that were in the works. What does 700 posts make me now? (I mean, besides being overly wordy...)

Re: MB3 - R3 - Gargantula vs Velasquez vs Unicorpse

Posted: Thu Oct 29, 2009 12:18 am
by StalinSays
ROU Killing Time wrote:btw, whatever happened to the # of post rankings that were in the works. What does 700 posts make me now? (I mean, besides being overly wordy...)
Mega-Beasts happened. Look for those early 2010 when time is again plentiful.