MB4 R2 - Lamb Chops vs. Big Boris vs. The Meth Worm

[dreamrock]

Let me ask you this: which one of these death match critters in this round has never been used as the basis for a kids' daytime puppet-show mascot?

Whoops, try again.

The built-in emoticon is woefully inadequate in this situation.

Boris bears more resemblance to the pansiest bear in Brother Bear than he does to Fozzy.

[moonowl]

That was just a good setup.

[ejbman]

I think I'm going with Boris.

Grizzly Kills Sheep

And

Grizzly Kills 13 Sheep

Not to mention

Grizzly Killed 20 Sheep In One Night

This latter phrase sounds very much like a euphemism for something dirty. ("That's right, Tom, the two of them were in there "killin' sheep" all night long, if ya know what I mean.")

(Question: has anybody else got the YouTube tags to work?)

[Mikes]

Grizzly Kills Sheep

And

Grizzly Kills 13 Sheep

Not to mention

Grizzly Killed 20 Sheep In One Night

You could replace 'sheep' with 'people' and the sentences wouldn't seem wrong. But replace 'sheep/people' with 'intensively trained, heavily armed, ridiculously motivated sheep/people' and I see the score line changing.

Anyway, more reasons for Chops to get revenge and fight da powa.

[tbaker2500]

Anyway, more reasons for Chops to get revenge and fight da powa.

Fight da powa, stick it to the man.
Get all the ladies, get all the land.
Tune up your Oud a crank up the amps

[Mikes]

Tune up your Oud a crank up the Lamb

Fixed

[tbaker2500]

Interesting, how in yet another round, the two main contenders on the forums (Boris and Lamb Chop) are losing in the actual voting to Meth Worm.

[jonathancg]

I don't get the joking about Boris and Fozzie -- yeah, both Lame Chop and Boring are based on animals that have been in puppet shoes -- that was my point. I'm a Meth Worm advocate, people. I've never seen a Meth Worm rendered cute and cudely.

Help me out here...

[normsherman]

I've never seen a Meth Worm rendered cute and cudely.

Help me out here...

solid point.

Interesting, how in yet another round, the two main contenders on the forums (Boris and Lamb Chop) are losing in the actual voting to Meth Worm.

When I sent people voting for Gargantula, they saw Velasquez, cracked up, and voted for him.
When I sent people voting for Tristegotops, they saw Minotaurd, cracked up, and voted for him.
If Arnie and Jessie Ventura have taught us anything it's that people want to elect the best entertainment, not necessarily the best candidate.
I wouldn't be surprised if Tommy takes this one, and not for a reason that makes sense (like he'll burrow underground and start cooking up while Boris and Lamb kill each other) but because he's a goddamn Birmingham Meth Worm. He was born to shine.

[Mikes]

I don't get the joking about Boris and Fozzie -- yeah, both Lame Chop and Boring are based on animals that have been in puppet shoes -- that was my point. I'm a Meth Worm advocate, people. I've never seen a Meth Worm rendered cute and cudely.

Help me out here...

Ahem....

[moonowl]

I've never seen a Meth Worm rendered cute and cudely.

Help me out here...

solid point.

Norm, did you really forget my cuddly and kinda cute rendering of said death worm? I'm sad!

[tbaker2500]

Nah, that's a Mongolian Death Worth!

[normsherman]

Yah, and that plushie got off the ice a long time ago sista!

[Mikes]

It, er, kinda looks like something.... advertised on late... night television.


Um, anyway, moving on.


All three have got great abilities, noone's arguing that, but we haven't gone into an important factor: motivation.

Boris had it. A while go. but he'd getting on now, and all his successful brawling from his best years couldn't save the Soviet Union from Perestroika, and nothing he can do now will bring them back. Even Vladimir Putin can't do that and he canoes bare chested.

The Methworm... I've been unlucky enough to have to visit the unemployment office and have seen the poor, drug addled souls who take up residence near there. They live for their next fix, but passively, not aggressively. And the Methworm has a lot of bulk to haul around, and Twinkies don't have a lot of protein in them.

Now Lamb Chops, he's nothing but a whirling dervish of pure carnivore-hate. Look in the dictionary and next to 'Driven' you'll see his picture. or my dictionary anyway. In Biro.

It's not just about survival, it's about revenge for him.

[jonathancg]

It's about being a food item known for its tenderness. It's tenderness!

Have you ever looked at a Bear or Death Worm and thought: "Man, that'd be good in a Gyro!"

Focus, people. FOCUS.

[boot]

How many big, giant ninjas have you ever seen depicted?

I can't pass up this opportunity to direct your attention to this giant chainsaw-nunchuck wielding ninja!

But yes, normally ninjas are depicted as tough and stringy...not unlike what I imagine Pork Chops would taste like in a gyro!

[moonowl]

That's an advantage! Wouldn't you be pissed off if your kind were food!?
(it's peeeeeoooooople!)

[jannypie]

I really love them all.

Boris can rage and kill everything in his path.

Meth can scrap and smoke at the same time.

Chops can sneaky sneak in with the surprise attack.

Anyone wanna bribe me for my votes LOL

[normsherman]

call in people-- still taking voicemails for a few more days! 443 552 0335

[Mikes]

Anyone wanna bribe me for my votes LOL

How about a Drabble in honour of the round?

He closed his eyes and calmed his muscles, willing the background to wash over, masking his presence. And then, to all intents and purposes, he was gone, and the other two had only eyes for each other. The beasts went at it, claw, tooth, tail and bulk. The ground rumbled as one, then the other was thrown down, overstressed bones breaking with each slam.

From his place removed he picked one spot on each of the others where skin and sinew would hold no resistance to his blades.

He gripped his weapons, narrowed his eyes and waited for his time.