- Morning, Burt.
Morning, Dave.
- You know your cat, Burt?
My cat's name isn't Burt, Dave.
- 'Course not, Burt. But he is your cat.
Sure.
- You know how you said yesterday that his tongue was like sandpaper?
Did I say that?
- I believe you did, Burt.
Well, and it's true, now I come to think of it.
- It might well be, but as it happens, your cat was behind you at the time. I could see him because I was standing facing you, like I am now. He seemed... interested.
Interested how, Dave?
- Well, to be blunt, Burt, my belt sander is missing.
Changing the topic, Dave?
- Not at all, Burt. And it seems someone was trying some amateur carpentry in your backyard. Looked like a rough ladder to the bird feeder. Or half of one. Not coincidentally, your cat is behind you again today. I'm sure you can hear the belt sander warming up.
The cat's belt sander?
- My belt sander, Burt. Let's be clear. To return to the topic: your cat.
What about him?
- He looks angry, Burt. Mighty angry. You might want to skedaddle.
I don't follow, Dave.
- I'm saying, Burt, that he looks about as angry as a cat with splinters in his tongue.
Burt Never Did Return That Leaf-Blower
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These posts are public, and will be searched by Google. If you want to maintain "First Worldwide Rights" on your story, post in the Short Stories (Member Only) forum. Story authors still retain ownership and copyright, either way.
- Scattercat
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Re: Burt Never Did Return That Leaf-Blower
Uh oh. Do you speak from personal experience? Is this the origin story of the Scattered Cat? 

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Re: Burt Never Did Return That Leaf-Blower
Ha! Funny. Nicely written.
You're my quasi-ichthian angel, you're my half-amphibian queen...
The Dribblecast, we don't care if you sound like an idiot.
The Dribblecast, we don't care if you sound like an idiot.
Re: Burt Never Did Return That Leaf-Blower
This I loved must have slipped through the cracks bit it feels more like a Bert and Ernie short to me.
If I wrote it you can read it unless you sound like Fran Drescher.