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Burt Never Did Return That Leaf-Blower

Posted: Sun Jan 26, 2014 1:54 pm
by Scattercat
- Morning, Burt.

Morning, Dave.

- You know your cat, Burt?

My cat's name isn't Burt, Dave.

- 'Course not, Burt. But he is your cat.


- You know how you said yesterday that his tongue was like sandpaper?

Did I say that?

- I believe you did, Burt.

Well, and it's true, now I come to think of it.

- It might well be, but as it happens, your cat was behind you at the time. I could see him because I was standing facing you, like I am now. He seemed... interested.

Interested how, Dave?

- Well, to be blunt, Burt, my belt sander is missing.

Changing the topic, Dave?

- Not at all, Burt. And it seems someone was trying some amateur carpentry in your backyard. Looked like a rough ladder to the bird feeder. Or half of one. Not coincidentally, your cat is behind you again today. I'm sure you can hear the belt sander warming up.

The cat's belt sander?

- My belt sander, Burt. Let's be clear. To return to the topic: your cat.

What about him?

- He looks angry, Burt. Mighty angry. You might want to skedaddle.

I don't follow, Dave.

- I'm saying, Burt, that he looks about as angry as a cat with splinters in his tongue.

Re: Burt Never Did Return That Leaf-Blower

Posted: Tue Jan 28, 2014 2:42 am
by Varda
Uh oh. Do you speak from personal experience? Is this the origin story of the Scattered Cat? :D

Re: Burt Never Did Return That Leaf-Blower

Posted: Fri Mar 07, 2014 2:32 am
by tbaker2500
Ha! Funny. Nicely written.

Re: Burt Never Did Return That Leaf-Blower

Posted: Tue Apr 19, 2016 12:54 pm
by zcarter80
This I loved must have slipped through the cracks bit it feels more like a Bert and Ernie short to me.