Drabblecast 144 - joanierules.bloggermax.com

[TheJebi]

Drabble - Brush with Greatness
by Rish Outfield

joanierules.bloggermax.com
by Nick Mamatas

This sounds ridiculous, I know. It’s like watching an old movie where everyone has a British accent, even if they’re supposed to be in ancient Rome or something. God is just impossible to translate…



Art by Sean Azzopardi
Music by Outland, Wes Montgomery, the Flaming Lips, Phil Cuneff, Sarah Ayers, the Gorillaz, Victor Stellar

[moonowl]

Fantastic! I loved the mashup. Really well done.

[The PMS Avenger]

I really liked the idea behind the story, but the blog format didn't sit well with me. It just didn't do the plot justice. I had a hard time buying that a military genius inspired by God would be keeping a blog while waging war. Plus, for me anyway, the jump from her talking about a party to seeing God was a bit much. On the positive side, the narration was awesome.

But that could just be the crack talking.

[ROU Killing Time]

I really liked the idea behind the story, but the blog format didn't sit well with me. It just didn't do the plot justice. I had a hard time buying that a military genius inspired by God would be keeping a blog while waging war. Plus, for me anyway, the jump from her talking about a party to seeing God was a bit much. On the positive side, the narration was awesome.

But that could just be the crack talking.

Those new-fangled devices are pretty nifty. She must have been blogging from the field with an iPhone. I enjoyed the story, and when Norm doesn't narrate an episode, I hope his guest readers are as good as the one on this episode.

Maybe I should lay off the crack today. Hanging out with James Dean would be way cool. Great Drabble, Rish. :thumbs:

[gord42]

Norm called him the "Jebbee". Is that right? I assumed Jebi would rhyme with Jedi.

[TheJebi]

Norm called him the "Jebbee". Is that right? I assumed Jebi would rhyme with Jedi.

Yeah, it’s an easy mistake to make, (I think my new avatar makes it clear though) and I’ll give Norm a break, seeing as how he’s put out four ‘casts in less than a week. That’s a serious amount of podcastidge.

I really enjoyed the story. I thought the blogging lingo gimmick worked well, and I’m glad you decided to let somebody else narrate this one, Norm. It would have been a little too weird if you hadn’t.

I think that joanierules did work quite well, as long it was not exactly taken literally. I had to think about it for a while afterwords, but it almost seemed like a myth or legend. Like this firsthand account was actually written at a later date and altered to some degree, sort of like how the Bible and Joan of Arc stories doubtlessly have been.

Regarding the drabble, I think he may just be on to something with the whole crack thing. That’s probably why I haven’t become rich & famous yet, I just need some hardcore drugs. I had been under the mistaken impression that they were wack, but hell, coke worked great for Stephen King, as I learned in his On Writing book. So maybe I should change my quote to “Give us all some crack”…

Congrats on another great episode, and I highly enjoyed the new Bsides as well.

[gord42]

I enjoyed Joanierules. I found the blogging context hid Joan's identity sufficiently well to completely surprise me when God showed up.
Joan of Arc was of course in her teens during the her military period, so I particularly enjoyed considering how the original Joan might have lived before her vision, and how her teen years were...severely...altered by her obedience to the voice of God.

BTW, you can read it in blog form at http://www.fantasticmetropolis.com/i/joanierules/1/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false
Unfortunately, the promised pics of a sunset over a city in flames are a dead link

I agree Naomi Mercer did a great job with this narration. Thank you! (And specifically, thank you for saving us from having to hear Norm describe "Jen’s asshole roommate’s asshole boyfriend" whipping out his floppy, gray dick. Seriously.

[themorg]

i really did not like this story. God told her and taught her guerrilla tactics and in a couple weeks she was totally able to physically be a commando. Seriously awesome narration, i just wish more substance within the story. i'll listen again to make sure i did not hate it for no real reason.

[ROU Killing Time]

i really did not like this story. God told her and taught her guerrilla tactics and in a couple weeks she was totally able to physically be a commando. Seriously awesome narration, i just wish more substance within the story. i'll listen again to make sure i did not hate it for no real reason.

No more implausbile than the original Joan of Arc story.

[TheJebi]

No more implausbile than the original Joan of Arc story.

Exactly. I had to ponder this one for a while afterwords, but it really did a good job of making me rethink the Joan of Arc story, while at the same time making me rethink the Sarah Connor story... in a lot of ways they seem fairly similar .

[themorg]

No more implausbile than the original Joan of Arc story.

Joan of Arc - worked on a farm and lived in a violent time = plausible warrior (to me)
Joanierrules - knows how to avoid a Friends boy friend's grey penis and how to blog = Epic Fail

[ROU Killing Time]

No more implausbile than the original Joan of Arc story.

Joan of Arc - worked on a farm and lived in a violent time = plausible warrior (to me)
Joanierrules - knows how to avoid a Friends boy friend's grey penis and how to blog = Epic Fail

Well, this example actually highlights it well for me. I'm sure the knights of Joan of Arc's day, well trained since childhood in the state-of-the-art of war and tactics, would have also considered a simple farm girl to be Epic Fail as well.

As far as violent times go, I don't think the world of today is much less of a violent time in many ways than the time of Joan of Arc. I can well imagine Joanie walking through the streets at night being all too aware of modern dangers, with keys clenched between her fingers and a spray can of mace at the ready, lest she run into a gang of rape-minded hooligans in a poorly lit street.

But, I think the whole point of the story is that Joanie or Joan were average people thrust into extraordinary positions of heroism, not through any special innate talent, but through the inspiration of a revelation from God.

(On a side note, I found Joanie's descriptions of her visions and their indescribability and God being everywhere she looked to be quite accurate, from my own personal experience.)

[Beth Peters]

Joan of Arc - worked on a farm and lived in a violent time = plausible warrior (to me)
Joanierrules - knows how to avoid a Friends boy friend's grey penis and how to blog = Epic Fail

That was the whole point! The story wasn't meant to be taken as serious as you guys are taking it, cmon! It was a comedy with some somber tones chucked in at the end. Granted, if you missed this then the fault lies in either the story or the production I think, but I for one definitely "got it."
Did anyone ever see that terrible Steve Carell movie "Evan Almighty" where he plays a Congressmen turned modern day Noah? That's the kind of attitude in this story, but joanierules pulls the humor off much more cleverly.

The real story of Joan of Arc is crazy enough and I remember thinking God must've transferred military knowledge, strategy, etc by Matrix style download into Joan's mind, like in the story. Of course, it's almost equally amazing if you nix God all together and just think of Joan as a super charismatic/entrepreneurial lunatic who was able to raise and lead an army based on sheer confidence, magnetism and personality.

Displace that into our time, with blogging and the mountains of silliness that come with life as a teenage girl in America, and you've pretty much got yourself a great sitcom or movie pilot. What kind of ridiculous circumstances could ever allow a blathering American teenage girl (I got the impression she was maybe college-age actually) to fly to France and actually convince people to join her army and descend upon England in a modern Holy War? This girl should be excited about vanilla skim lattes and going to see Fergie in concert, not burning cities down to the ground.

Very funny how the blog entries went between lame surveys and typical blog flame wars to finding "holy bazookas" and exacting God's vengeance on the British. Kudos to Mamatas for very authentically pulling off/parodying the stylistic nature of an female early 20 something's blog. Ashamed to say even my old blog had a few reflective "Lime Cool-Aid Summer" type entries (sanz battlefield news, sadly)

Also kudos to Naomi Mercer, who filled in Norm's bye week on narration with a very creative, spunky and convincing read. We all know DC doesn't mess around when it comes to a story's telling and production. Those standards make mediocre stories magnificent and magnificent stories majestic. Ms. Mercer sells this story with the ease of a professional, her timing and inflection dead-on. Complimented with Norm's musical backdrops (poor Norm will never find someone to match him/understudy there) this story was one of my favorites in a while.

[strawman]

Well played, Beth. I have learned that to some, RPG stands for Role Playing Game, while others think Rocket Propelled Grenade.
So dreamrock really likes ""It's like ooooh, there's an asp. Uh, the thief deals it 2 damage now he *YAAAAWN* gets a frickin' shadow gauntlet or something. Oh god. Cast fire 3 spell. Uhhhnnn. Paladin." and I don't get it. Half the pleasure of the Drabblecast for me is trying to keep up with what often feels like a Firesign Threatre journey to a very strange country.
That Norm can produce something as good as what took them an entire troupe and production company to do astounds me.

[ROU Killing Time]

Well played, Beth. I have learned that to some, RPG stands for Role Playing Game, while others think Rocket Propelled Grenade.
So dreamrock really likes ""It's like ooooh, there's an asp. Uh, the thief deals it 2 damage now he *YAAAAWN* gets a frickin' shadow gauntlet or something. Oh god. Cast fire 3 spell. Uhhhnnn. Paladin." and I don't get it. Half the pleasure of the Drabblecast for me is trying to keep up with what often feels like a Firesign Threatre journey to a very strange country.
That Norm can produce something as good as what took them an entire troupe and production company to do astounds me.

Porgie Tirebiter, he's a spy and a girl delighter...

Yes it is amazing what Norm can do all by his lonesome. Especially lately when he's spiked to a new level. Pretty amazing learning curve on production when you go way back to the early episodes.

In all fairness to The Firesign Theatre, they didn't have access to some of the technology Norm has, but still a tool is only as good as the craftsman wielding it.

[dreamrock]

A few minutes in, I realized that 2012 wasn't supposed to be an uberfuturistic alternate 2012. It was the subway, I think. Sure I've used one, but that was Russia, man. Russia.

My immediate thought of her insanity is contradicted by the fact that she suddenly knew French. I can accept learning tactics and bazookas from a fugue, but French? Highly improbable. Except in a story. Whoops.

In short, I like this because it doesn't have answers. It has a puzzle to wrap my mind around.

I also didn't like this story. Blog format isn't bad, but it was carried too far. When around friends, I am a potty mouth, you crazy motherfrakkers. But too much swearing detracts from the story. Realism is good ... in story-acceptable quantities.*

Also, Joanie was amusing in her pre-psychotic state, but reminded me of my fundie friends on Facebook after that. It was a strength of the story, but it cut into my enjoyment a bit.

Norm said there was a theme for us to figure out. Theories:

1. Things that shouldn't be talking ... do. Or maybe they don't but you think they do.

2. Time incongruities. I have to pretend TheJebi's awesome twabble wasn't a part of the theme or pretend I'm too dense to get it in order to use this one. Pretend I'm extra dense.

3. God. If James Dean is God.

4. Science finds a way. Just kidding, folks. But seriously. Science.

And now I can never shave my beard again. Even though my dad did compliment it (no, Norm isn't my dad). Trim yes, shave no. That's probably for the best anyway.

Chilean Table Wine: The roommate reaction to the wine reminded me of wine fiends everywhere. Just because I don't enjoy white zinfandel doesn't mean I have to lord it over you with my superior pinot noir at North Carolina room temperature.

Instead, I'll lord it over you because I know that North Carolina room temperature is normally the wrong room temperature for red wine unless you're talking about my room in January. Quite drafty. Thank Thor for electric blankets.

Just kidding about the lording though. I only make fun of people for drinking Bud Lite.

P.S. I took the line "I'd type everything God said in all caps, but I hate it when other blogs do that" too literally. She reads God-bloggers who type stuff in all caps? Probably not what the author meant. BUT very funny interpreted that way.

I hope I interpreted "kiss my once and future virgin ass" correctly, but if I didn't, please let me think she's hoping god will restore her virginity.


*Take note future biographers of dreamrock! I don't want anyone reading a hyper realistic rendition of my bath time unless it's entertaining.

[alhilton]

What Beth said.

This story was brilliant, but it requires passing familiarity with the Joan of Arc of history to be enjoyable. It's not supposed to be realistic. The historical story is astoundingly improbable. A modern retelling looks like _this_.

Teenage girls don't change. Their circumstances, culture, and up-bringing change, but basic brain chemistry, developmental levels, and hormones do not. Joan was this age. The story asks the question: what would she look like in near-modern America? And the answer is: even sadder and crazier and stranger than she looks in history; a good deal less heroic and a good deal more disturbing.

Where's lithium when you need it?

[ROU Killing Time]

Where's lithium when you need it?

Right up on my dresser. Which reminds me...

[themorg]

Well played, Beth. I have learned that to some, RPG stands for Role Playing Game, while others think Rocket Propelled Grenade.

I like the idea of breaking down middle battle and start rolling dice to see if you hit much better than a rocket that blows up like a grenade.

[StalinSays]

This is easily my favorite podcast of the year! With that joke out of the way, I also anticipate it ranking among my favorites right through the end of the year.

Deem me unclean if you will but I've always enjoyed that pithy and crass 'blogger tone' that permeates the web. It makes me feel at home, never raised that 'they're faux-intellectual snots!' rage other webizens are afflicted by. Nice to have it crystallized in to a complete piece. Additionally, what other story would let us say 'dick' this many times in the comments without Tweedy wrapping our collective knuckles with a ruler.

Truly excellent narration by Naomi (as others have pointed out). Reminded me of an episode of Well Told Tales. If I ever have a video game that needs lady talkin', I will make the call.