Paleo-Drabble
Paleo-Drabble
Paleo-Drabble
Mungo hungery. Mungo's wife tell Mungo to get out of cave; kill antilope; wife's mother coming over for dinner.
Mungo go out to open plane. Follow antilope herd. Mungo step in antilope poo; scrapped foot on rock to get poo off. Poo stink. Lion smell poo; chase Mungo. Mungo run fast; climb tree. Lion climb tree; Mungo jump down; throw rocks and poo at lion. Lion go away.
Mungo smell like poo; sneak up on antelope easy. Bring antelope back to cave. Wife complain about smell. Mungo drop poo on mother's foot. Mungo tell her no lions by antelope.
Mungo hungery. Mungo's wife tell Mungo to get out of cave; kill antilope; wife's mother coming over for dinner.
Mungo go out to open plane. Follow antilope herd. Mungo step in antilope poo; scrapped foot on rock to get poo off. Poo stink. Lion smell poo; chase Mungo. Mungo run fast; climb tree. Lion climb tree; Mungo jump down; throw rocks and poo at lion. Lion go away.
Mungo smell like poo; sneak up on antelope easy. Bring antelope back to cave. Wife complain about smell. Mungo drop poo on mother's foot. Mungo tell her no lions by antelope.
Re: Paleo-Drabble
I like. But please explain the last sentence.
Never judge anyone until you have biopsied their brain.
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"Be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle."
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Re: Paleo-Drabble
He's telling her to go stand where it's safe, by the antelope, where there are most assuredly no mother-in-law eating lions lurking. Honest.strawman wrote:I like. But please explain the last sentence.
"Never fuck with The Culture"
Sublime In Peace Iain M. Banks.
Sublime In Peace Iain M. Banks.
Re: Paleo-Drabble
I thought there would be a little confusion with the choppy style and the 100 word limit. I'm surprised how much story is here for 100 words. If I had a few more words it would say "when mother go home tell her no lions by antelope herd".
Re: Paleo-Drabble
I think caveman linguistics really make it easier to do more with 100 words. Mostly reduced to nouns and verbs. Why not try to figure out a rework that will clarify the "punchline"? I think it would be a strong contender for DoW.
Never judge anyone until you have biopsied their brain.
"Be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle."
Known Some Call Is Air Am
"Be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle."
Known Some Call Is Air Am
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Re: Paleo-Drabble
Tell me you didn't just imply that Drabbling is so easy that even a caveman can do it...strawman wrote:I think caveman linguistics really make it easier to do more with 100 words. Mostly reduced to nouns and verbs.
Starting to think that Strawman works in the Geico advertisement department...
"Never fuck with The Culture"
Sublime In Peace Iain M. Banks.
Sublime In Peace Iain M. Banks.
Re: Paleo-Drabble
I's just sayin', ifn you take out all the adjectives and adverbs and pronouns and conjunctions, that leaves a lot more space for plot, and character development and nuanced psychological interaction.
As it were.
I'm currently working on a War and Peace paleo-drabble/
As it were.
I'm currently working on a War and Peace paleo-drabble/
Never judge anyone until you have biopsied their brain.
"Be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle."
Known Some Call Is Air Am
"Be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle."
Known Some Call Is Air Am
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- tbaker2500
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Re: Paleo-Drabble
Tom read drabble. Tom like drabble.
You're my quasi-ichthian angel, you're my half-amphibian queen...
The Dribblecast, we don't care if you sound like an idiot.
The Dribblecast, we don't care if you sound like an idiot.
- eric_marsh
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Re: Paleo-Drabble
Me tootbaker2500 wrote:Tom read drabble. Tom like drabble.
Life is a tragedy for those who feel, but a comedy to those who think. - Horace Walpole
Eric's Drabbles: http://eric-marsh.blogspot.com/"
Eric's Drabbles: http://eric-marsh.blogspot.com/"
- mrgoldenbrown
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Re: Paleo-Drabble
I like it. I got the punchline. But I did do a science fair project on paleolithic humor modalities in the savanna environment, so I might not be typical.