Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Mikes · Post by **Mikes** » Wed Sep 08, 2010 3:30 am

I would read this to my son.

ejbman · Post by **ejbman** » Wed Sep 08, 2010 3:48 am

Embarrassed by your tentacles? School girls laugh at you instead of scream? Try Elder Gods herbal enhancement remedy!

munsi · Post by **munsi** » Wed Sep 08, 2010 10:35 pm

I was sure you'd been replaced with a robot duplicate, but when I opened you up to check, it was you. Boy, was my face red...

babydyke · Post by **babydyke** » Thu Sep 09, 2010 12:24 am

Thanks!

Una arborensis · Post by **Una arborensis** » Thu Sep 09, 2010 1:19 am

When you wield the blade that is jade,
It always rips thy fingertips.
Slick with blood,
Life turns to mud.
No hope
in rope.

Mikes · Post by **Mikes** » Thu Sep 09, 2010 4:58 am

Thank you for buying the DETHOTRON 6, the latest in genocide tech.

To use; ignite fuse, back up and place fingers in ears.

munsi · Post by **munsi** » Thu Sep 09, 2010 2:33 pm

"Cherish each moment of life," the spirit told me, "it can end quicker than you think. Mine did."
So now I cherish life...

babydyke · Post by **babydyke** » Thu Sep 09, 2010 6:03 pm

“This isn't what I foresaw when they hired me,” Marian panted.

"Why else would I specify virgins?" the unicorn replied.

strawman · Post by **strawman** » Thu Sep 09, 2010 6:45 pm

hrunh?

babydyke · Post by **babydyke** » Thu Sep 09, 2010 7:01 pm

strawman wrote:hrunh?

Um...think about it? Or maybe it's just obvious to me.

strawman · Post by **strawman** » Thu Sep 09, 2010 8:10 pm

I been thinkin' at the redline of the strawman's capacity, which is actually the standard for a vegetative state.

Unicorns are supposedly the embodiment of purity, so it's some kind of twist that plays on virgins, and the panting is odd... Slight suggestion of bestiality, or is that just my vestigial brainstem singing that damn song again?

babydyke · Post by **babydyke** » Thu Sep 09, 2010 8:16 pm

strawman wrote:I been thinkin' at the redline of the strawman's capacity, which is actually the standard for a vegetative state.

Unicorns are supposedly the embodiment of purity, so it's some kind of twist that plays on virgins, and the panting is odd... Slight suggestion of bestiality, or is that just my vestigial brainstem singing that damn song again?

Perhaps not so slight a suggestion

I was making a play on the "only goes for virgins" guy stereotype. It's always seemed a little odd to me that unicorns want to lay their "horns" in a girl's lap (hurr hurr). It's a pretty bad joke, told at a sideways angle.

strawman · Post by **strawman** » Fri Sep 10, 2010 12:03 am

Yeah, I see. Use the purity angle to get past their defenses and gain their trust, and then...
Yeah, I think I've known guys like that.

But never a unicorn.

munsi · Post by **munsi** » Fri Sep 10, 2010 8:51 am

How many zombies does it take to change a lightbulb? Don't know, don't care, and there's NO way you're opening that door!

CLP · Post by **CLP** » Fri Sep 10, 2010 1:53 pm

munsi wrote:How many zombies does it take to change a lightbulb? Don't know, don't care, and there's NO way you're opening that door!

Awesome!

CLP · Post by **CLP** » Fri Sep 10, 2010 1:54 pm

You, suitcase in hand, slam the door after you.
I, hard drive grinding, yearn for you to be just memory
So I can delete you.

Mikes · Post by **Mikes** » Fri Sep 10, 2010 2:28 pm

munsi wrote:How many zombies does it take to change a lightbulb? Don't know, don't care, and there's NO way you're opening that door!

Um, can we close this thread? I really don't see how anyone can top this.

CLP · Post by **CLP** » Fri Sep 10, 2010 3:26 pm

After Earth was destroyed, I personally eliminated the stragglers. Only one human remains. I put the gun in my mouth...

munsi · Post by **munsi** » Fri Sep 10, 2010 9:56 pm

They said my plan would kill us all, but ask any of the survivors fleeing the city and they'll tell you that wasn't true...

tbaker2500 · Post by **tbaker2500** » Sat Sep 11, 2010 1:15 am

munsi wrote:How many zombies does it take to change a lightbulb? Don't know, don't care, and there's NO way you're opening that door!

That's my munsi! Too funny, man.

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Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

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