Offer I Can't Refuse

[CLP]

I sit thinking my life is not as cool as videogames, when the darkness outside explodes with colored light.

I rush outside. An impossibly smooth, reflective vehicle hovers. With a hiss, the hatch unfolds; two space-suited aliens emerge.

“The Galaxy is at war.” A mechanical voice translates over the sloppy alien speech. “We need you to lead a crack team of alien mercenaries to destroy the servers of an evil AI.”

Sweet! I board the ship.

“It worked! Can’t wait to probe this one,” one says.

The other panics “Turn off the translator, you [No Translation]!”

The door seals shut.

[strawman]

"It's a cookbook!"