the fibble

[deflective]

mix the drabble and the fib and you get a fibble.
which is damn hard to write. working with restrictions on both the word and syllable count gets really tough.

i fooled around with the idea a bit and wound up working with a fibonacci word count in order to write something and still wasn't able to make much of a narrative. the true fibble (100 words, fibonacci sequence syllables, tells a story) is a harsh mistress.

Code: Select all

 1 moment
 1 passes
 2 action, reaction
 3          so it goes
 5  tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow
 8            and always to know this too shall pass
13  yet we can stand on the shoulders of giants to see ever further
21   the weight of generations resting heavy on those who have passed before; shifting lives changed from sand to stone to foundation
34      where we can build. Words from the dead lay ready to hand, tools to shape our understanding; impassive darkness all around, daring those who would stretch further: reaching towards the scattered grains of light.
 5 tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow
 3            so it goes
 2 action, reaction
 1 passing
 1 moments

[strawman]

Couldn't any drabble be divided and expressed in the same sequence?
Where do syllables come into it?
What's with the arbitrary return to the final five line inverted sequence?

[Mr. Tweedy]

Couldn't any drabble be divided and expressed in the same sequence?
Where do syllables come into it?
What's with the arbitrary return to the final five line inverted sequence?

No. This is a poem. It isn't just arbitrarily broken up: Each line expresses a unified thought. The break between stanzas 21 and 34 seems arbitrary, but the rest are logical.

I like it, and I like the originality of the format. It actually kind of profound, the idea of something ephemeral becoming something permanent.

I say fix the break between 21 and 34 so it doesn't look arbitrary and remove the numbers. Just write it out like a poem with indented stanzas. That will be quite a nice piece then.

[strawman]

How can you fix the break between 21 and 34 without messing up the word count? I realize it's a poem. It's the structure that makes it a poem. But if 21/34 breaks the structure without purpose, or if the last 5 lines mirror the first 5 rather than continuing the number sequence, then it's like a 15 line sonnet. If it is what it isn't, then it can't be what it is. And what about fibonacci sequence syllables?

[deflective]

Where do syllables come into it?
What's with the arbitrary return to the final five line inverted sequence?

i wasn't able to actually write something that restricts both word & syllable count, this is a bastardization that only works with the word count. close to a drabble, close to a fib, not really either.

no continuous section of the fibonacci sequence adds up to a hundred, you need to take sections of it and patch them together to get exactly one hundred words. an interesting one would be 1,1,2,3,5,8,8,5,3,2,1,1,1,1,2,3,5,8,8,5,3,2,1,1,1,1,2,3,5,8 although i'm not really sure what you would write with that kind of word structure.

I like it, and I like the originality of the format. It actually kind of profound, the idea of something ephemeral becoming something permanent.

I say fix the break between 21 and 34 so it doesn't look arbitrary and remove the numbers. Just write it out like a poem with indented stanzas. That will be quite a nice piece then.

thanks =)

the run across two lines was intentional; i wanted 'words' to be the only capitalization in the piece. i'm still too close to writing it to really know how badly that breaks the flow, i may come back to it in a month for some polish.