Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

pondspider · Post by **pondspider** » Mon Sep 29, 2014 8:23 pm

Essence! Where? This way.
Swirling confuses. Wait.
Calm. Essence again. Sure now.
Eager. Near. Very.
Found. Pleased.

Algernon Sydney is Dead · Post by **Algernon Sydney is Dead** » Mon Sep 29, 2014 8:31 pm

pondspider wrote:Are these peanuts complimentary?
No sir, they're rudimentary. Isn't that so boys?
That's right boss, you fat ass slob!

That's a groaner.

pondspider · Post by **pondspider** » Mon Sep 29, 2014 9:08 pm

OK, how about this...

Woman asks the barman for a double entendre.
So he gives her one.
"Nice dress", say the peanuts. They're complimentary.

strawman · Post by **strawman** » Tue Sep 30, 2014 1:23 am

pondspider wrote:He lifted the latch and pushed the gate open, its hinges protesting noisily.
What do we want? Oil. When do we want it? Now!

I am sitting in a chair like that as I read this. It's turning into an organized protest.

strawman · Post by **strawman** » Tue Sep 30, 2014 1:24 am

pondspider wrote:Essence! Where? This way.
Swirling confuses. Wait.
Calm. Essence again. Sure now.
Eager. Near. Very.
Found. Pleased.

And yet you claim to be a pondspider.
Hey ASID! Sock puppet!

Algernon Sydney is Dead · Post by **Algernon Sydney is Dead** » Tue Sep 30, 2014 1:26 am

Nah. You know it's not me, because he/she is using GrabAll mail.

strawman · Post by **strawman** » Tue Sep 30, 2014 1:28 am

pondspider wrote:OK, how about this...

Woman asks the barman for a double entendre.
So he gives her one.
"Nice dress", say the peanuts. They're complimentary.

I'd prefer Woman asks the bartender for an entendre. He tells her a hard man is good to find. She says, "Make that a double".

tbaker2500 · Post by **tbaker2500** » Tue Sep 30, 2014 1:57 am

pondspider wrote:Given that a spider has eight legs, does it also have eight feet and on each foot are there little tootsies?
Probably not.

Hee hee...

tobadzistsini · Post by **tobadzistsini** » Tue Sep 30, 2014 2:08 am

"Can we go to the haunted house this Hallowe'en", begged Calvin. Dad laughed, "Is there something wrong with this one?"

pondspider · Post by **pondspider** » Tue Sep 30, 2014 7:57 am

We've been observing your Earth, and one day we'll make a cabinet for you.
Who rang, Honey?
Those darn Carpenters again.

pondspider · Post by **pondspider** » Tue Sep 30, 2014 10:05 am

Calling octopus of interplanetary craft.
Who is it, Cephy?
It's those darn Earthlings pestering me for their cabinet.

unreliable narrator · Post by **unreliable narrator** » Tue Sep 30, 2014 3:00 pm

To all those psychopaths who like to put razor blades in the candy jar at Hallowe'en.
We're doing broken glass this year.

Apologies to any psychopaths out there. Nothing personal... not that you care.

karcathy · Post by **karcathy** » Tue Sep 30, 2014 5:42 pm

You know they say true beauty is on the inside? I bet your insides are truly dazzling. I'd love to get a closer look at them.

pondspider · Post by **pondspider** » Tue Sep 30, 2014 7:00 pm

strawman wrote:I'd prefer Woman asks the bartender for an entendre. He tells her a hard man is good to find. She says, "Make that a double".

Dang! That's good.

kentblue82 · Post by **kentblue82** » Tue Sep 30, 2014 7:19 pm

"Epic party, bro," the Mi-Go slurred and passed out. Dave smiled; he wasn't called the Fun Guy From Yuggoth for nothing.

pondspider · Post by **pondspider** » Tue Sep 30, 2014 7:51 pm

kentblue82 wrote:"Epic party, bro," the Mi-Go slurred and passed out. Dave smiled; he wasn't called the Fun Guy From Yuggoth for nothing.

Looking up the HPL references in this one has been an education. I've never read any Lovecraft (oh, the shame of it) but love the style of his stories. I didn't know the products of his twisted mind included a planet in our solar system. I'd always assumed Cthulhu and his pals resided in another dimension of space-time where little details like planets were irrelevant. Live and learn.

Algernon Sydney is Dead · Post by **Algernon Sydney is Dead** » Tue Sep 30, 2014 8:43 pm

karcathy wrote:You know they say true beauty is on the inside? I bet your insides are truly dazzling. I'd love to get a closer look at them.

Pretty!

Welcome aboard, Karcathy!

karcathy · Post by **karcathy** » Tue Sep 30, 2014 9:11 pm

Algernon Sydney is Dead wrote:
karcathy wrote:You know they say true beauty is on the inside? I bet your insides are truly dazzling. I'd love to get a closer look at them.
Pretty!

Welcome aboard, Karcathy!

thanks!

karcathy · Post by **karcathy** » Tue Sep 30, 2014 9:11 pm

I feel like I could drown in your eyes, but liquefying them might take me a while and I'm just not sure they're deep enough.

Algernon Sydney is Dead · Post by **Algernon Sydney is Dead** » Tue Sep 30, 2014 9:27 pm

karcathy wrote:... your eyes ... I'm just not sure they're deep enough.

That's why you use limpet mines on the "Limpid pools".

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Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

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