Scraptor vs. Armourdillo vs. Sharkitraz vs. Pandemic

[Mr. Tweedy]

Hmmm... You do realize the hydraulics are slow as mud, right Adam? Yeah, you can get a home rig that lifts 12,000 pounds, but it lifts it rreeaallyy sslloowwllyy. Your assertion that Scraptor is faster because of his augmentations is ill-founded. Stronger, yes, but not faster.

[StalinSays]

...when the stadium lights go out and those styrofoam Greek columns are hauled back to some studio lot, what exactly is our opponents plan?

See, that is enough to make a liberal, current Pandemic voter, jam 20 ballots in the box for Armourdillo, just for the catharsis.

- - - [] - - -

On Spelling Gate 08'

The great gaffe of the round 3 campaign - it turns out Armourdillo's nationality, and hence his patriotism, can be called in to question. As his spokesperson, I can deliver the news that yes, he is indeed a Saxon invader. The middle ages in America were more about war paint and worshiping coyote than swords and sorcery. He pays for his blades in euros folks.

On Timing Gate 08'

As I sees it, the round does not occur in real time. For the sake of advocating for the devil, it certainly could, and in that case the current voting spread makes perfect sense. It all comes down to food source. Sharkitraz, with its ravenous metabolism, would need to eat every single opponent to live 3 weeks. In so doing, he'd be extinguished by force, or poisonous panda putrescence (points for alliteration). Hence a firm spot in fourth place. The Armourdillo's omnivorous appetite means a tree root satisfies when shark'cass isn't available. The virtue of versatility plants him in first. Pandemic could forage on foliage (it isn't bamboo, but what's the worst that could happen, he gets sick?), so his longevity isn't called in to question. And Scraptor has his robotic reserves to push emaciated organic bits past their natural barriers sans meat morsels. Not desirable, but enough to keep him in the dance.


On JCVD Gate 08'

Yeah, dude is totally Belgian


On Voting Gap Gate 08' and the Wee Hour Attackers

No need to buy iPods and laptops, or turn more rats in to junkies - it is all about browsers. Google just introduced Chrome, which comes highly recommended. PC owners can check out Firefox, Safari, Opera, Netscape Navigator (unsupported but still available), Flock, and SeaMonkey (yes, there is a fully featured browser named after the noble sea monkey). Between my home and work PC, I personally represent 16 votes a day. Strawman's Aussie'ental hackers are phantoms of the mind - download-happy hardcores and our sphere of influence are the real threat.

I share all this to say: anyone out there with a knife at this gun fight, the big guns are only a google search away.

On Scraptor Gate 08'

All that Adam says is true - the Scraptor is a bad, bad man. His chances are fine, brush that despair off your shoulder. Now is a time for vigilance, influence, and voting diligence (or vildifluence). Skullverine sat in a similar Friday spot several weeks back, and he was within a pixie whisper of taking the whole thing. Tell your friends, visit your local computer lab, and save your multi-browser votes for that final hour. Be the ebay mega-buyer boogey man - make the closing minutes count.

- - - [] - - -

I've hedged my bets and drawn a hybrid panda, hybrid armadillo, and hybrid raptor (The Black and White Plague, Armageddo, and Evisceraptor respectively). Which one emerges from the battle womb is up to all of you. This is gonna' be a close one. I am pumped.

[strawman]

...when the stadium lights go out and those styrofoam Greek columns are hauled back to some studio lot, what exactly is our opponents plan?

See, that is enough to make a liberal, current Pandemic voter, jam 20 ballots in the box for Armourdillo, just for the catharsis.

What? We're talking about an armadillo, right?

[StalinSays]

Clarity'ish - the new clarity.

To reveal some personal details, for clarification, not attention, and not to begin a political discussion (as I am hatefully ensconced in my belief system, to the point a 'political discussion' with me tends towards a 'political insult sniping yell fight'): I'm pro'bama. Recognizing your quote snippet, framing said dillo as said charismatic Chicagoan, I instantly yearned to start voting for it. It'd give me the pleasure of a real vote for my proffered politician, multiple times over, 2 months early.

Any way, I'm still boosting Pandemic till the end of this round. Judging by the healthy Scraptor bounce that has occurred over the last two hours, my commitment will need to be firm, my action smartly executed.

[tbaker2500]

Well, as they say in Chicago:
Vote early, vote often.

[strawman]

WHAT THE... Scraptor, eh? Appears Tweedy went out and spent that $10,000 in his daughter's college fund on computers.
Scraptor is like Ralph Nader, people! Don't waste your precious votes!
Pandemic's endless supply of vile bile is easily convertable to ethanol. Scraptor is destined to be fossil fuel. Think green! Save the planet! Gah!

[Mr. Tweedy]

WHAT THE... Scraptor, eh? Appears Tweedy went out and spent that $10,000 in his daughter's college fund on computers.
Scraptor is like Ralph Nader, people! Don't waste your precious votes!
Pandemic's endless supply of vile bile is easily convertable to ethanol. Scraptor is destined to be fossil fuel. Think green! Save the planet! Gah!

College fund? Pshaw! As a college graduate myself and one who associates with fellow collegians, I can say with some confidence that the money is better spent on mega beast voting machines.

Actually, I'm as surprised by Scraptor's resurgence as anybody. Pleased, though, to see Pandemic down in third where it belongs.

Too bad we don't live in the same state, Bo. We could both agree to not vote and stay home and drink beer instead. (Well, in my case I'd be drinking cheap Kroger wine. I don't really care for beer.) Or I could lie and tell you I was staying home but really go vote... Egads! That's brilliant! *sound of Mr. Tweedy calling liberal beer-loving associates*

[strawman]

Dems are supposed to like wine.
Reps are supposed to drink beer, (except for Billy Beer).
Southerners necks are supposed to be red.
And Pandemic is supposed to wipe out the competition.
This is the way natural selection operates.
It is immutable scientific inevitability.
Except in the strange space-time environment which is Drabbleland.
Folks, the only way to avoid the devastation of these massive inconsistencies is to employ the Infinite Improbability Drive. Pandemic and I wish you good luck! Five... four... three... two...

[StalinSays]

We could both agree to not vote and stay home and drink beer instead. (Well, in my case I'd be drinking cheap Kroger wine. I don't really care for beer.)

Or sit around and play the Wrath of the Lich King World of Warcraft Expansion - there are heavy rumors goin' round that it will release on the same day as the elections. Bizarre marketing decision, or Orc plot to damage the executive branch through a millions strong gaming nerd vote abstaining conduit - you decide.

Billy Beer eluded my understanding till this morning, and I feel reborn. It's a shame I could only have drank it as a toddler, as it sounds delicious.

Wikpedia informs in the same article that Billy Carter's actual beer of choice was Pabst Blue Ribbon. I hope this was not the only similarity he shared with Frank Booth, and he swore constantly, inhaled copious nitrous, wore lipstick, chomped on blue velvet and lobotomized cops.

Well topsy turvy world has almost righted itself. As of this writing, Armourdillo is in first, Pandemic a close third. By the time I remind my girlfriend and mother to vote, he may well leap frog the Scraptor in to the lead. Muwhahaha.

[Mr. Tweedy]

Nah. Not a WoW fan. We could play Endwar, which also comes out on Election Day.

One game about the start of a global war and another about the rise of an undead horde both coming out on the day of the presidential election. A good omen that is not.

[StalinSays]

Shenanigans!


Well, I guess the vildifluence paid off. This morning we had an attempt on the vote count's honor. Someone was switching strings like they were candy, and yeh, I saw, and yeh you're "busted." Armourdillo has ten plus villain's votes that are being stricken.

We also experienced the usual computer lab PC hop blitz. This though I don't meet with the same ire. If someone is out there spending heartbeats to bounce from comp to comp, I recognize and respect their fervor. If it happens again though, counter-weighting to follow.


How I'm Proceeding

I don't like using this power, but I have permissions to alter the vote database directly. I will preform surgery where needed to nullify illegal votes. Since subtracting votes gets messy, I will simply balance out unjust additions out. So for the X illegal votes Armourdillo received earlier today, his 3 competitors will have that added to their total. If anyone is eyeballing the totals with my same eagle eye, understand that the flux of perceptible speed voting today and tomorrow is Bo regulating' with Warren G.

[StalinSays]

Nah. Not a WoW fan. We could play Endwar, which also comes out on Election Day.

One game about the start of a global war and another about the rise of an undead horde both coming out on the day of the presidential election. A good omen that is not.

Oh, I don't actually play WoW either (console guy), just makin' conversation. 'Train Keeps a' Rollin' is going to import to Rock Band 2, 'Number of the Beast' isn't, Final Fantasy 13 is coming to Xbox, and Nintendo doesn't have a new product with Mario's name on the box for this Holiday season - the signs are adding up. All that and the mare tearing at its mate this morning at the Colosseum - the end is nigh.

[jonathancg]

I just want to add a point about Scraptor's pneumatics -- good for him, but you can attach a 12,000-pd lift to a standard carbon-based hip bone, crank that puppy up, and rip that lift right off the hip.

Cybernetics are great, but with a cyborg, he can't really "max out" without knocking himself out of the fight.

[adam]

i feel like when it comes to logistical matters of how a cyborg actually works, we just have to take for granted the fact that they do, being that the technology doesn't really exist. i mean to explain how he operates internally with above-average capacity would mean we'd have to actually invent cyborg technology in order to defend him. we're not digging down into the biological impossibilities of pandemics immune system.
i just pulled the 12,000lb estimate out from a google search of simple existing mechanisms to give a rough idea of how strong robotics can be, so he wouldn't be underestimated. just saying that he packs more push per pound than armordillo. like, if he used his detachable grappling arm to launch out and grab 'dillos battle axe from him- if it came down to a tug of war over the weapon, cyborg-strength could snatch it away. how would armordillo fare unarmed? or with only his sword? scraptor could, while grappling over the axe, give him a clean laser-shot to the face- the thing would have to let go, and might lose his 1 good eye in the process.

if scraptors weaknesses included incredibly slow speed, or inability to push too hard without ripping out of biological hip, i feel like those would have been listed. but we have to assume the technology is more advanced than what we have available in google searches right now.

[tbaker2500]

Shenanigans!


Well, I guess the vildifluence paid off. This morning we had an attempt on the vote count's honor. Someone was switching strings like they were candy, and yeh, I saw, and yeh you're "busted." Armourdillo has ten plus villain's votes that are being stricken.

Norm, I said Bo would catch you!!
Now he might ban you from the competition.

[strawman]

It is 13 minutes to midnight, Pandemic trails 304 to 305, I don't have time to download Firefox or SeaMonkey, and I'm out of ammo. I think this round should have been sponsored by Browser Marketing Inc.

I sign off leaving you with the image from Saving Private Ryan, the knife fight scene...

Please...

don't...

......

[tbaker2500]

You know, I think this is an interesting microcosm of the ugliness of politics.

[adam]

You know, I think this is an interesting microcosm of the ugliness of politics.

you're totally right. i have a group of friends who swear they're moving to canada if mccain wins the election. i felt equally violated and hostile about the injustice of night-owl last round- when people liked him so much even though he was cleearly the weakest link. if i could have somehow exiled my imagination to some sort of mental canada, where everything was boring but night-owls weren't well respected, then i totally would have.

[normsherman]

Shenanigans!


Well, I guess the vildifluence paid off. This morning we had an attempt on the vote count's honor. Someone was switching strings like they were candy, and yeh, I saw, and yeh you're "busted." Armourdillo has ten plus villain's votes that are being stricken.

Norm, I said Bo would catch you!!
Now he might ban you from the competition.

The fact that someone would try to cheat this contest makes me proud. It's a clear sign of success in my book. If I had any tech-savvy I'd be battling Bo's eagle eye right now for Armourdillo. Or maybe Scraptor. I'm still not sure. I've got another day and two browsers...

[Mr. Tweedy]

i have a group of friends who swear they're moving to canada if mccain wins the election.

Tell them I wished them a safe trip. If Obama wins I'll move to... Well, nowhere. I'm not under the impression that any president can single-handedly jack things up too bad during a term and America is awesome enough that it would need some pretty serious jacking before I contemplated living elsewhere. I'll be a bit apprehensive about what changes might be coming down the line, but I'm not one to let nerves send me packing.

If Pandemic wins, though, that's another story. I don't want to be on the same hemisphere with that guy.

So who won? It's 12:59 - round's over, right?